Our Minds and Hearts to Heal
by Mary Elliott
Summary: Lee has trouble recovering from ONI mission
1. Chapter 1

_Our Minds and Hearts to Heal_

 _Mary Elliott_

Chapter 1

The first clue Chip Morton had that _Seaview_ 's Skipper was on the boat was the thump of a bag dropping on the deck from the spiral staircase. He looked up, startled. He hadn't been informed of anyone coming aboard. Thus he was surprised, to say the least when he recognized the battered grey duffle. Lee wasn't due back on board for several hours yet.

Chip took one look at the face of his captain and friend and knew something had gone terribly wrong on the ONI mission. _Seaview_ had not been needed this time to come to the rescue, much to the relief of the crew. The XO had taken this as a sign they would be getting back their Skipper in good shape; now he wasn't so sure. Lee was pale but it was the look of torment in his eyes that worried Chip.

"Status of the boat, Mister Morton?" queried the captain in a taut but steady voice.

"Supplies are loaded and all crew members have reported for duty. We were just waiting for your arrival from Washington, Captain. You're early, sir."

"Yeah, got lucky, somebody didn't show up for the first flight." Lee swept his eyes across the control room and said, "Very well, prepare to get underway, increase speed to 30 knots after clearing the breakwater. Set our initial course bearing 258 degrees and keep her at 90 feet."

Lee turned and started to leave. Looking up from the charts, the XO did a double take. There were stitches on Lee's hairline, and as the captain bent up to pick up his duffle bag, Chip could see several healing scabs on his hands. He lightly placed a hand on Lee's sleeve. "Are you all right?"

At first, Lee acted like he hadn't heard him. Then, he sighed and said, "Come to my cabin after you've set the watch, Chip."

An hour later Chip was knocking on the captain's door. Entering the darkened room he unconsciously flipped the wall light switch and was surprised to see his friend not at the desk. Chip noticed the unusual sight of the compulsively neat Lee's uniform jacket tossed half on a chair and half on the floor. Turning his head slightly he found Lee laying on the bunk, his right arm hanging straight next to his side and his left arm draped over his eyes. Chip pushed the Skipper's legs aside and sat down.

"Okay, spill it, buddy. How bad are you hurt?"

It was a well-known fact that his executive officer could be tenacious regarding his captain's well-being, so Lee reluctantly removed the arm from his eyes, squinting against the glare of the ceiling lights.

"I have a pounding headache, the result of a concussion. The doctor didn't approve of my leaving the hospital but I promised to stay off duty for 48 hours. You and O'Brien can handle the boat for the next two days. It's only a standard supply run to Sea Lab 2."

Chip looked at him in disbelief.

"You're staying in bed for two days without Jamie or the admiral threatening you? It must be one hell of a headache. Why don't I believe there isn't more to the story? By the way, have you checked in with Jamie?" Lee started to get out of bed but Chip pushed him back. "I thought you said 48 hours."

"Doesn't mean I have to stay in bed. Besides, the headache is starting to go away. It was the rushing to make the plane and then the actual flying that aggravated the concussion. No, I haven't talked to Jamie; don't worry, the doctor said he was contacting him. Guess he didn't trust me. I'm surprised Jamieson hasn't tracked me down already."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the cabin door. They smiled at each other, and then Chip got up and opened the door to let in _Seaview's_ doctor. He grinned as he motioned to the bed.

"Lee's being a good little Skipper, relaxing in his bunk just like the doctor ordered. He's already informed me I'm in command for the next two days. So you can save the lectures, Jamie. He's fine, except for a headache."

 _Seaview_ 's medical officer mimed a double take. "Who are you and what have you done with the real Captain Crane?"

Lee weakly smiled at the lame old joke.

"My head hurts and I'm too tired to fight you this time, Jamie. I'm going to rest without an argument."

Dr. Jamieson crossed over to the bunk and looked down at the young man.

"If you are really going to stay in your cabin without a fight you must be in worse shape than Doctor Kimber reported. I want to examine you. Chip, why don't you come back in half an hour? **"**

Before Chip had a chance to answer, Lee exploded in anger. "NO! Just leave me alone, Jamie! I told you I'm tired and have a headache; there's nothing else wrong with me," he cried out in an agitated tone, abruptly rising up to a sitting position,pressing his hand against the bulkhead wall as awave of dizziness hit him **.**

The sudden and violent outburst startled everybody. Dr. Jamieson raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, can I just do a quick neuro exam? Two minutes tops and I'll stop pestering you."

"GET OUT! Leave me alone!" Lee burst out again, grabbing his head with both hands. He groaned and fell back on the bunk in pain, turning his back on both officers. "Please, just leave!" he implored.

Jamieson tossed his bag onto the bed and opened it as he directed Chip to pull up Lee's sleeve. Quickly filling a syringe, he tried to swab the arm with alcohol. With Lee attempting to pull away, Chip held the arm still.

"Come on, Skipper, don't fight us. This is the same medication they gave you in the hospital. It will relax you and help with the pain."

Lee stopped resisting and after the injection, Jamie rubbed Lee's arm in a soothing manner. "The shot should work very rapidly, just lay back and let the meds work their magic."

The doctor felt the tension ease from Lee's overwrought body. Jamie checked Lee's pulse and satisfied, he picked up his bag and motioned Chip to leave.

"Lee, if you need anything, just give me a holler."

Lee didn't look up. "Thanks, Chip. I'll be fine."

 _You don't look or act fine_ , Chip thought. He was heading for the control room, but a meeting with Jamie first was definitely in order. He'd wait.

Jamie had a few more instructions to give before leaving himself. "Okay, Skipper. I'm going to let you be. I'll check back with you later. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, pain's letting up some," Lee said, his voice flat. "Sorry I jumped down your throat, Doc."

"I'll overlook it this time. Try to get some sleep, it's the best thing for you. You know the drill, eat and rest, and that means no paperwork, at least not for today. Chip will give you the report on the boat's status when he brings dinner. If I find out you are not obeying orders you get the joy of an IV, clear?"

"Chip is already in command so why don't you get off my back! I don't need you smothering me, constantly trying to control my actions! I just want to be left alone - can YOU understand that!"

"Captain, I think we all know this isn't normal behavior for you, so I'll let that slide. Take a shower, get into bed and I'll see you later in the day. I'll send Frank along just to make sure you're following instructions."

"Jamie, I don't need a babysitter."

"Then act like it."

Chip had the words out a second after Jamieson closed the cabin door. "What's going on with him, Jamie? I've seen Lee in bad shape, but never like this. What exactly is wrong?"

"If I'm correct in my diagnosis, this could be really serious, Chip. Lee needs to rest, and not get upset. If he continues to ignore his symptoms his career could be over."

Chip let that sink in, his thoughts in a whirl. Trying to make sense of it all, he said, "But Lee's had concussions before, so have I."

"Have either of you ever overreacted the way you just saw? I'll know more once I talk to Dr. Kimber. He has all the films and was able to perform a thorough examination."

"What do you suspect, Jamie?"

"He's showing all the classic signs of post concussive syndrome, or PCS. Many patients with PCS have trouble just getting out of bed. It could last six months or six years, it could beach him permanently. Wait, wait, I'm not saying that's what's going to happen," Jamie added as Chip rounded on him. "There is one drug, amitriptyline, that has shown to be helpful but unfortunately one of the side effects is increased depression, insomnia, nightmares, that sort of thing. Kimber said that Lee refused to talk to him about this last mission. I'm going to need your help with that."

"I had a feeling when he came on board that something really bad happened on that last assignment. So his shrugging it off as nothing could be because something else is going on, something we don't know anything about," Chip mused. "And nightmares to boot. Great."

"It's going to be tough. You've got to walk a thin line when you try to draw him out. He's already upset with you being in temporary charge. He's going to hit the roof when I tell him he's unfit for command for the entire cruise."

"I'll do my best, Jamie but we both know how pigheaded Lee becomes regarding his health. Let me know as soon as you have a definite diagnosis."

When Frank arrived at Lee's cabin, he got right to the point. "Do you want to take a shower or just go to bed, Captain?"

"Bed with a pit stop to the head," Lee decided, slowly rising from his bunk. Frank stepped to his side ready to help if needed.

Angered, Lee snapped, "I think I can it handle this on my own, if you don't mind."

"Okay, I'll lay out your pajamas; just don't lock the door in case you fall flat on your face, sir." The tone was light, teasing; the doc had emphasized upsetting the Skipper as little as possible.

Soon Lee returned and glared at Frank, daring him to just try to undress him.

"Standing by if needed, sir," the corpsman commented with exaggerated military formality.

Lee didn't have much trouble removing his shirt and putting on the pajama top, but his sense of balance being off, the pants were a different matter. He could not understand why the problems were happening now. He'd left the hospital and flown back on his own with no troubles. He didn't want to admit it but besides the dizziness, the headaches were increasing in intensity and frequency. Surrendering, he held the offending garment out to the corpsman.

Frank got the Skipper's feet through the openings and pulled the legs up to the knees letting the Skipper finish the job and keep in command of the situation. Wisely, he didn't comment on the numerous black and blue bruises that appeared on the Skipper's chest and back, but the doc would be getting a detailed report.

"Okay, Captain, I need to get your vitals and do a quick neuro exam then I'm out of here. I'll be by every couple of hours to check on you." Frank efficiently completed his tasks, took the tray from the desk and left. Before he had turned off the lights Lee was asleep.

He tossed and turned in his sleep as the images invaded his dream.

 _Pete, it's a trap! Get away, run … damn, too late.… Where's the screaming coming from? Girl, no! Don't stop… no… Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't know._

"Peter, help me… give me cover... Jesus, where are they? Pete, for God's sake lay down some cover fire... cover me!

"COVER ME!"

Lee jerked up screaming, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. He took a deep breath, trying to slow his racing heartbeat. Finally able to stand on shaky legs he made his way to the head to splash cold water on his face. He filled a glass and emptied it in rapid gulps. Lee struggled out of his top and left it on the floor where it fell. The pounding in his head was at a frantic pace as he stumbled back towards the bed, collapsing facedown on it, one foot dangling off the side. The medication and exhaustion sent him to sleep almost at once.

Frank returned for the first check and found the light on in the head and pajama top on the floor. He managed to arouse the Skipper significantly enough to put on fresh clothes and assure himself Lee was all right. Frank got his patient into a more comfortable position, covering him with a blanket. He debated leaving but the Skipper was apparently resting peacefully for the time. He would report to Dr. Jamieson, suggesting hourly visits.

The doctor paused momentarily before knocking on Lee's door. He knew the usual game the two of them played following one of the captain's injuries would be more intense this time.

"Enter!"

"How are you feeling, Skipper? Anything hurting other than your head? I see you're following my orders to rest and take it easy. It'll also help to heal all those bruises sooner than later."

"I'm fine, just fine. Obviously, Nurse Frank has been running his mouth off again," Lee growled. No way was he telling Jamie about the nightmare, especially with what the doc knew about the other injuries. Besides, he remembered only snatches of it himself. "I keep telling everyone over and over. But nobody will believe me and I'm getting a little sick and tired of it. After all, I was able to travel from DC all by my little 'ol self. Don't know why I have to be laying down all the time."

Knowing that Lee would probably continue with his tirade, but determined, the doctor spoke in a quiet but firm voice. "Skipper, with all due respect, how can you say you're alright? Sure you made the trip, but at what cost? Do you realize how strong that earlier injection was? I'm amazed you are coherent already. You need to relax. Dr. Kimber stitched you up some, it's easy to see that, but you've managed to keep the rest pretty well hidden - your usual M.O. If I had known you were injured, I would have sent the flying sub to bring you home, rather than let you run around airports, aggravating your concussion. I'm concerned about your behavior. You're not acting like yourself, Lee. Is something more going on with you then the head injury? It's the mission that's got you in such turmoil, isn't it? If you don't trust me at least talk to Chip or the admiral. Getting it off your chest will help."

The captain unsteadily got to his feet and started to pace back and forth, not looking at the doctor. He had to stop as the anvils inside his head resumed pounding. But they weren't loud enough to drown out Drake's last words to him: _You did what… you had to do. Lee… I messed up ... you're a good friend ... I really messed up … It's not your fault... I'm sorry..."_

Lee came back to the present trying to push away the haunting memories. Leaning against the desk and with his back to Jamie, Lee answered in a dead voice. "It was a tough one, Jamie. Some people lived, some people died."

He didn't want to talk to Jamieson or anyone else, not until he could push the pain of the betrayal to the back of his mind. That had included the shrink at his debriefing. He had given the psychiatrist the standard answers, the ones they always wanted to hear so he could be sent out on another mission. He did what he had to do, the security of the US, perhaps that of their allies, dictating his actions.

Sighing, Jamie shook his head. "I think there's more to this story than that. But I know when I'm not getting answers. You can't be responsible for everything. It is an unfortunate fact good people sometimes die violently, no matter how hard you try to prevent it. There's a lot of evil in this imperfect world of ours."

Crane whirled around and faced the other man. Anger, bitterness and resentment flashed quickly over his face. Lee could feel his control slipping once more, as the harsh words gushed out of his mouth like lava spewing out of an erupting volcano.

"Drop it, Doc, just drop it! Nothing happened that you need to concern yourself with. I keep telling everyone that I have a headache and I'm tired. Why won't anyone listen to me and just let me alone? This is what you always want, isn't it, Jamie? Trying to lock me away in my cabin; not allowing me to do my job!"

Jamie looked stunned at the ferocious outburst, and took a step backwards. Lee, ashamed of his words, immediately regretted the Jekyll and Hyde reaction. If he couldn't quickly get a grip on himself, the doctor might truly consider locking him away; at least, order him to Sick Bay on a 24–7 observation. The violent verbal outburst sounded almost paranoid to his own ears. Rubbing his temples in pain, the excruciating headache at critical stage, he stumbled over and sat down in the desk chair. His command of military discipline had enabled him to keep control over his emotions until he'd left Washington; why was it letting him done now?

"I'm a little light headed, and my head's killing me, are you happy?"

"I'm not the enemy, Lee. I'm just trying to help. Take this and get back into bed, that's the best place for you right now."

Responding to the quietly spoken words, Lee swallowed the two Tylenol tablets Jamie placed in his hand. "I know, Jamie, I know you are." He returned to the bed hating what Drake had taken away from him.

Chip had not enjoyed the briefing that Jamieson gave him. After his latest confrontation with the captain, Dr. Jamieson had spoken with Dr. Kimber, and they both agreed Lee was showing all the signs of post-concussive syndrome; severe headaches, dizziness, and the bad temper. The only good sign was the tests Dr. Kimber had ordered while Lee was at Walter Reed Hospital showed no skull fracture or intracranial bleeding. Lee had downplayed his symptoms, tricking the doctors into releasing him early. They didn't know him as well as _Seaview_ 's doctor did, Jamieson noted wryly.

Now was not the best time for Admiral Nelson to be at Pearl Harbor for meetings, fumed the XO. Jamie agreed not to call the admiral until morning, after he had again talked with Lee. Only then, would he be able to give a complete picture of what they were facing **.**

Lee had an extraordinary sense of duty; he always felt responsible if events did not go as planned. Chip had experienced the captain's brooding over past assignments. He knew Lee would be racked with guilt if innocent people had lost their lives on the mission. Now with the complication of PCS, that guilt would be magnified. Once more, the XO cursed Admiral Johnson and the ONI for dragging his friend into another one of their messes.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Surprisingly, after being told he was being relieved of duty for the cruise and placed on medication to combat his symptoms, Lee had stopped pushing himself. There had been one incident in the circuitry room when the Skipper, allowed to take a short walk, had come across men making repairs. There were parts strewn all over the deck. Normally Lee would simply issue a quiet order to police up the mess, but this time there was a mini explosion when the captain let loose on the two crewmembers. Chief Sharkey managed to get the Skipper back to his cabin, calling the doctor to relate the episode.

The doctor had arrived and swiftly assessed the situation.

"Okay, Chief, I'll handle this. The captain will be resting for quite a while so you are relieved. Don't look so worried, he'll be fine."

After Sharkey left, Jamie turned his attention to his patient.

"Want to tell me what happened, Lee? But first, how bad is the headache?"

"Wouldn't object to a couple Tylenol, extra strength if you got them." After swallowing the tablets he finished drinking the glass of water before he continued. "Usually it starts with the pain in the head, this time the outburst came without warning then the drummer started up again with a vengeance. It was just a little thing, no big mess. They're both competent men, everything would've been cleaned up, but I lost it and blew up at them. From what I can remember, they had a very surprised look on their faces when I ripped them up one side and down the other." Lee gave a humorless laugh. "Not my usual method of discipline."

"Any other symptoms, dizziness or nausea? How soon did the headache start after the yelling?"

"Maybe a minute at most. The more the head hurt, the crazier I became. Jamie, how much longer is this going to keep happening? I can't continue being captain of _Seaview_ when I lose control so easily. What would've happened if we were in an emergency situation and lives depended on my calm judgment?"

Sure his frustration and feelings of defeat were being telegraphed on his face, Lee turned away from the doctor. It was getting harder to keep his spirits up after each attack. He had risked his life once too often, and the repayment was possibly the loss of the one thing he'd spent his adult years trying to achieve.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Captain, it's only been a couple days. Your body needs time for the medicine to start working plus you need the normal post-concussion care, rest, rest and more rest plus no stress. I want you to remain in bed for a couple of hours, even if you don't sleep. Relax, think of those great places where you and Chip go diving, the freedom you have in the water. Call me if the headache doesn't let up in another fifteen minutes or so and I'll give you something stronger. For now, remember, you don't have a care in the world."

"Yeah, right. Chip is driving the boat and I'm reliving vacation memories. Just what I wanted."

"It'll be over sooner than you think, Skipper."

"Keep telling me that, okay, Jamie? Just keep telling me that."

A gentle tap on the cabin door aroused Lee from his sleep. Calling out a hoarse permission to enter, he struggled to bring himself to full awareness.

"Well hello, Captain Sleepyhead, did you enjoy your siesta?" Chip asked. In his hands was a tray with two mugs of hot Cocoa and a plate of cookies from the galley. They settled in as the XO went over the events of the day.

"There's nothing to be concerned about, Skipper. The boat is in great shape. The minor rewiring in the circuitry room was completed yesterday evening and we ran numerous tests. There's not a speck of unused wire left anywhere, I inspected the job myself," Chip offered with a slight snicker.

"I came down pretty hard on Burke and Simpson, I sort of lost it."

"After the chief handed you off to Jamie, he went back and added his own chewing out. When I checked their finished work you could have eaten off of the deck. Don't worry about your yelling at the men, it keeps them on their toes. I'm usually the one who lowers the boom! I'm planning on doing a walkabout tonight at 2200, are you up to keeping me company?"

"Do you think we can sneak it past my keepers?"

"Just don't go wandering around until then and it will be safe. I'll give you the old signal - two knocks, a pause than three quick ones."

"Just like the time with..." Lee's voice faded away, not wanting to remember the crazy incident at the Academy with Peter Drake. Seeing Chip's concerned face he quickly pushed that memory away. "Think we need a counter sign?"

Chip laughed and shook his head as he walked away.

The resupplied run to Sea Lab 2 was going smoothly, and _Seaview_ arrived at the coordinates right on schedule. After meeting several of the scientists aboard the underwater lab, Lee got out of the way leaving the unloading to Chief Sharkey and his work detail. He accepted Dr. Jay's offer to see some of the latest research being conducted, overjoyed at having something to occupy his time, while still obeying doctor's orders.

The dinner was a lively affair with Dr. Jay offering up several funny stories concerning the admiral, ones that he would never dare tell in the presence of Nelson. Lee immensely enjoyed the company, happy when none of his current medical problems reoccurred. Still easily fatigued, Lee however did retire early. He was relieved the resupplying had gone so smoothly. The rest was harder to contemplate - five days to return to Santa Barbara then the possible end of his career as captain of the _Seaview,_ or any vessel _,_ if his condition did not improve.

The next morning, after a final check with the lab personnel and goodbyes being exchanged, _Seaview_ started home. Later, Lee personally contacted Admiral Nelson, feeling duty bound to report in. Even if he was not in charge at the moment, Crane wanted to show he could resume some of his duties. He quickly updated the admiral regarding conditions at the sea lab along with relaying the scientists' well wishes.

"Dr. Jamieson's been telling me you've been behaving like a model patient. When _Seaview_ returns to Santa Barbara, he has advised that you take aminimum of two weeks off to help in your recovery. I'm in total agreement."

Lee could feel the beginning of a headache. Afraid the usual pattern of a following blowup would be close at hand, he rushed to end the conversation. "Yes, sir, if you both feel it's for the best. If you'll excuse me, Admiral, I'm afraid I'm quite tired."

"Don't worry about anything, Chip can handle the boat, Lee. Just rest and follow Jamie's orders. We need you back on your feet. I'll be leaving Pearl in two days so I'll beat you back to the Institute."

"Have a safe flight, sir. I am sure Acting Captain Morton will bring _Seaview_ back without scraping the paint. As everyone keeps telling me, I'm just along for the ride."

Before Nelson could respond to that, Lee broke the connection, dropping his head into his hands. Great! Now he was behaving like a spoiled kid whose favorite toy had been taken away. He couldn't help it; he felt Nelson was just trying to humor him. Groaning, he reached for the bottle and swallowed two pain pills. Better to prevent another spell then to give anyone more ammo to take away his command. Lee hated to acknowledge it, but he still felt listless and knew that he needed further rest. The prone position helped alleviate the constant dull pain in his head and the ever present slightly off balance feeling. Closing his eyes, he repeated to himself, _two_ _more days, relax, just two_ __ _more days_.

Too tired to move to the bed and hoping to stem the threatening headache he now switched off the desk light and used his arms as pillows to lay his head on the desk. He tried to slow hisbreathing, relaxing his body. Soon he had drifted off to sleep.

 _The shots are coming from everywhere! Pete - lay down some firepower to the left! Pete, where the hell are you! Got to get to that guy, drag him off. Hold on, help's coming. I'm gonna rig a tourniquet on the leg. Ambushed! Damn faulty Intel. Pete! Where the hell are you? Pete! Could use some help here! Don't look at the body of the girl, don't do it. Damn… where's that other magazine? Pete! Owww, damn, two more inches and I'd be dead. Shit, that other girl… shit! This guy's had it, the belt's not working, too much blood loss, can't stop it. Where are you, Pete?_ __ _Come on, we've got to get out of here._

"Hang on, just hang on. I'll get you home. Noise, what's that noise? PETE!"

Chip knocked on the door and waited, hearing Lee' strange sounding voice. He had arrived with lunch planning to go over the final report from the sea lab. Now he needed to discuss what he was hearing. Knocking harder this time, he waited until he received a groggy permission to enter.

"Sorry, guess I took a quick nap at the desk." Lee tried to pull himself together, quickly grabbing a cup of coffee from the tray to help relieve the scratchiness from his voice.

"Sounds like you were having a doozy of a nightmare. Want to talk about it?"

 _What the hell was I saying?_ "What? No, there's nothing to talk about. Let's just eat and you can fill me in."

"But Lee, I could hear you-"

"Just drop it, okay? I wanna talk about work, nothing else."

Chip knew it wasn't the time to press the matter, but he would try once more before he left. Perhaps Lee needed a little time to compose himself. Placing the food on the table, he took a bite of sandwich and then proceeded to give the Skipper an overview of his report.

Lee picked a cookie off the plate, breaking tiny pieces away, leaving a pile of crumbs on his napkin. Stalling for time. Lee finished off his hot drink then returned the mug to the desk. It was difficult to bring up what he needed to discuss with his friend. If he could explain to someone who would understand and not be judgmental, maybe he could put the tragedy of the last mission behind him. Right now whenever he thought about what had happened, it usually triggered one of his headaches. In the past Chip had helped put things in perspective when other assignments had gone south. Now he was counting on his long-time pal to come through one more time, this time maybe to help save his sanity **.**

The XO slowly gathered up his papers, taking his time. There had to be a way to broach the subject again about the nightmare. He was about to speak when Lee beat him to the punch.

"Chip, don't leave, there is something I need to talk to you about."

Grabbing a pencil, Lee started doodling on a scrap of paper, a habit of his when he had difficulties discussing something. He crumpled the paper, tossed it away, and faced his friend. "I know I can always talk to you about my stint with ONI. I trust that you won't go running to Jamie or the admiral when I tell you I'm having nightmares or other problems."

"Hey, that's part of the job description for being your XO. So, what's up, I know something has been bothering you. Get it off your chest; Dr. Morton'scouch is open for business."

Lee's hazel eyes dimmed. "This isn't funny, Chip."

Chip's shoulders slumped, and he said in dismay, "Damn, I'm sorry, Lee, I was just trying to help relieve the tension. I guess I messed up. You know I'll always have your back, help you in any way I can. I heard you outside the door; it was another nightmare, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, must have been. Look, I'm the one who should be apologizing. Lately, I seem to be taking anything said the wrong way." Each man looked down towards the floor in embarrassment, not knowing what to say next. Lee pushed thedestroyed cookie around on the napkin, finally cleared his throat and began his story.

"Admiral Johnson approached me when ONI received Intel that "a person of interest" would be traveling with just a small group of guards. With the help of four specially trained policemen, Drake and I should have had no problem capturing and returning this person to the States."

"I take it Drake is another ONI operative?"

"Yes **.** He was actually in our class at Annapolis; Peter Drake, remember, he took Naval Engineering with the both of us when we were firsties. I was closer to him than you were. You'll remember about the couple of pranks he was involved in with us, especially the one at our last Army Navy game. That was the best one... when the limousine came into the stadium in Philadelphia with the bunch of guys in black suits jogging alongside and a set of flags that looked vaguely like the presidential seal..."

Chip looked closer at his friend. Lee wasn't in his cabin anymore; he was back in the stadium, back at the game.

"The limo went in front of the Navy section first and we all stood and saluted when it passed, drove around the field on the track and stopped in front of the Army section where all the Woops stood and saluted. After a pause, the door opened and out came the Navy goat, Bill! Bill and his handlers ran across the field to the Navy side. I swear, I've never seen the Woops howl louder. Pete was the head 'secret service agent.' The idea was all his, remember?"

"Sure, Lee. Sure I do."

Lee's eyes focused again, coming to rest on Chip's face. "Sorry, Chip, time got away from me there for a minute. Anyway, Drake and I have been assigned to several of the same missions in the past, sometime working together, other times just meeting as a contact person to pass information to. It was safer if you knew and trus…" Lee paused slightly, and then quickly continued with "if you knew and trusted the other person."

Lee stood up and began walking around the small room, too keyed up to remain still. "The Intel was wrong - I should have suspected something when we received just actionable intelligence - and we got into a firefight. A couple of the local officers were shot almost immediately. I got my concussion thanks to a bomb planted in our escape vehicle, which luckily for me, went off early."

"So the bad guy got away?"

"Not quite, Chip. The "person of interest" never was there. It was a trap to capture or kill me. The bomb was meant to kill anyone else who tried to escape."

"Dammit, Lee, it's bad enough when you go on these assignments, but now they're setting traps to murder you! The admiral's going to blow a gasket when he hears this." An agitated Chip, joined Lee in the pacing, stopping a few feet away from the captain's face. "You've got to stop working for ONI, Lee. Yes, you have a strong sense of duty to your country, but you're also too important to _Seaview_ , to your friends, to keep coming back damaged after playing 007."

 _He could almost smell the cordite from the gunplay.…_

 _One officer writhed in pain, half of his jaw shot off. Nearby, his partner lay mortally wounded from a gunshot to the stomach. Two teenage girls sprawled in a bloody heap in front of him, guilty of being in the wrong spot when the shooting began. Then getting to the Jeep, and the explosion. Finding Drake… the fight… Drake dying in his arms._

"Lee? Lee, are you all right?"

With difficulty Crane refocused on the present, forcing himself to continue his story.

"The bad guys opened up on us the minute we got to the supposed hiding place, right in the middle of this little town. Killed one local cop, wounded the other. The worst was the two girls that were shot as they were running across the street. I knew I had to get out of there fast. I looked around, couldn't see Drake. Figuring he'd head for the Jeep, I took off in that direction. Boy, was I right. Trouble is, I surprised him rigging the Jeep up for an explosion."

Even now he could see the little packet of C-5, the wires running underneath the ignition panel, Drake's busy fingers intent on the job, never noticing Lee until the other man was right on top of him.

"I surprised Drake as he was planting the charges in the Jeep he'd conveniently found for our getaway. He was trying to explain, crying about how he needed the money, when the bomb went off in the Jeep. He jumped me, we fought and he pulled a knife. It was over in a few minutes. I came back, he didn't."

"Drake was a traitor? Why?"

"Said he'd gotten in over his head gambling. For 30 pieces of silver he turned his back on all his beliefs. He forgave me," Lee spoke in an incredulous voice. "I held him in my arms while he was dying and that sanctimonious bastard is telling me he's forgiven me. He was playing his part to the end. He was always a cocky SOB, maybe he couldn't accept what was happening. The traitor wasn't sorry, only sorry he was caught. Sonofabitch, Chip!" he cried out. "I did my duty, and I'd do it again. Who knows what more Drake would have revealed to the other side."

Lee resorted to his customary gesture of frustration, moving his hand back and forth through his hair. "I should have realized something was wrong. Things just didn't 'feel' right, and because of my mistake, two innocent girls and one officer were killed, with another maimed for life. There would have been two more dead if I hadn't managed to call in the chopper we planned on using to track our guy if he eluded us."

Lee could feel his self-control slipping as his anger overwhelmed him. He was unaware of his actions until the pain shot up his arm when his clenched fist hit the cabin's wall. Chip grabbed the wrist, examining the injured and rapidly swelling hand.

"Looks like it's Sick Bay time again, buddy. That's got to hurt."

The XO was attempting to steer Lee towards the door when he stumbled, an attack of vertigo overcoming him. Chip guided him over to the bunk before reaching for the mic to summon medical assistance.

"Chip, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I keep doing this."

"We'll work through it, Lee. Don't worry."

As Dr. Jamieson examined the injury, Lee lay motionless on his bunk trying to ignore all that his body was going through. He felt as if he would never be in control again. At times he thought the medication was beginning to work, but then he did something stupid like this. If he continued on this course, he would soon find himself being invalided out for good.

Jamie carefully laid Lee's swollen hand down by his side. "Okay, Captain, I'm going to give you something for the pain and dizziness. There doesn't appear to be any broken bones but you need an x-ray to be sure. I don't want you walking so let us take you to Sick Bay-"

"You are not going to carry me anywhere," came the sharp interruption. "Just give me a sec and I'll get there under my own steam."

"As I was saying, there's no rush. I'll put a cold pack on the hand to help the swelling until you're feeling better." Jamie seemed to carefully pick his next words with Lee in such a volatile state. "It would help to know what you were doing prior to this accident. It could help prevent another episode."

Lee couldn't talk about it again. "I just want some peace and quiet. Chip can give you a report, just like he has this entire cruise. I'm sure the two of you will have plenty to talk about. Just leave and let me alone." Lee knew he was being unfair to both men but right now he didn't care. All he wanted was his normal life back, one where he was the master of his emotions.

The two officers left without argument. With the mood the Skipper was in, probably anything they could say would be taken the wrong way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Finally, they were home. Lee and Chip were the last to leave the boat. The XO kept stealing glances at Lee, as they sat in the observation nose finishing up the usual reports. Ever since hurting his hand a couple nights ago, the captain had been keeping to himself. Chip was determined to draw him out of his funk. It was the only reason he was allowing Lee to work on the paperwork.

"Come on, Lee, the rest of this can wait. I know your hand has to be hurting; you managed to put a nice dent in your cabin wall. I'm hungry. Let's pick up some Chinese at Golden Dragon, my treat."

"I'm not hungry. After I finish here I want to check out something in Engineering. You go ahead, I might sleep aboard tonight."

"No, you're not staying on _Seaview_. In fact, we're leaving right now. I'm still acting captain and it's my job to complete these forms. The rest of the reports are not due for another week. Engineering is fine, that's why we have an Engineering Officer. I'm starving. If you feel like crashing, you're welcome to the guestroom." Taking the pen out of Lee's hand, Chip started to stack the files. "Come on, get your gear, we're leaving."

The captain laughed and closed his laptop, appearing to admit defeat. "Chinese it is. I confess I have a taste for some orange chicken. And Chip - thanks. This cruise has been tough on you, putting up with my brooding and everything else."

"Belay that kind of talk, what are friends for. Now, as your best friend I'm telling you - move it! I want food."

"Okay, okay, but let's get one thing straight. I'm putting my foot down at being tucked into bed tonight."

A satisfying smirk appeared on Chip's face while he cleaned up the empty takeout containers. Lee's claim of not being very hungry had proven to be false as evidenced by not a drop of orange chicken being left over. He grabbed two cans, one of beer the other one Coke, while the microwave worked its magic on the popcorn. Now, he needed Lee to kick back and enjoy watching Cary Grant win World War II.

Before leaving the kitchen, Chip paused and removed a small bottle from the cabinet over the refrigerator, tucking it into his pocket. Chip had observed Lee rubbing his temple while he gathered up the food cartons. He would simply place the Tylenol on the coffee table close to Lee without a word; long ago he had learned how to handle his obstinate friend.

Even before the opening credits were finished, Lee washed down two tablets with his drink and reclined back as far as possible. Twenty minutes into the film with none of the usual comments from Lee, Chip glanced over and found his visitor asleep. Turning down the volume a little so as to not disturb his friend's slumber, Chip congratulated himself - mission accomplished.

At the conclusion of the movie, he moved as quietly as possible cleaning up, and then placed the throw from the back of the sofa over Lee's still figure. Leaving the corner lamp on low, Chip made his way upstairs, keeping his door open just in case. Climbing into bed, he started to chuckle as he recalled what Lee had said earlier about not being tucked into bed. Some things were just inevitable.

The next morning, a sheep-faced Lee showered and breakfasted at Chip's condo. Chip had overheard Lee crying out a couple times during the night, and debated whether or not to awaken his friend. But he had quieted down and remained silent until morning.

"Don't rub it in; I'll admit I was hungry and tired last night. Yes, mother knew best. Finish stuffing your face, I'm anxious to get to the Institute."

"Lee, before we do that - I overheard you last night. You were doing some good tossing and turning in your sleep. It was about the mission again, wasn't it? We have plenty of time to get to the office. Why don't we talk some more?"

Lee's face changed immediately from open and friendly to harsh and accusing. "There's nothing to talk about, Chip. It was another nightmare; we both know I'll have them for a while. Nothing I say to you will bring back the dead so why don't we just leave it." Lee picked up his cover and walked towards the door signaling the end of the discussion.

Arriving at his office, Lee wanted to quickly go through the accumulated mail and various other items, which needed his attention but was prevented by his secretary and Chip. He was still under the 'no work rule.' He followed Chip to the exec's office where he proceeded to hound his friend for the next hour until it was time to report to the admiral. Outside Nelson's domain, Angie offered both men some coffee before they entered the admiral's inner sanctum.

After a few minutes chitchatting about his Hawaii trip, Nelson quickly got to the matter at hand.

"Our next project has been pushed back a month, which works out for the best. Captain Crane, I believe Dr. Jamieson wants you to take at least two weeks of R&R starting tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir. Before I go, I'll arrange leave for most of the men since we have a longer down time. Unless you object?"

"That's my job, Lee. Why don't you just-"

Lee rounded on him. "Just take it easy, Mr. Morton? I'm sick and tired of taking it easy. I'm losing my mind being so inactive! I think this poor muddled head of mine can push a mouse around and work the spreadsheet you created. And for your information, this blowup in courtesy of Lee B. Crane, not PCS."

The admiral needed to fake a cough to cover the urge to laugh. "I believe the doctor will forgive us for allowing the captain to manage this task. I'm sure he won't be over exerting himself, Mr. Morton. Lee, I ordered some modifications to the boat, so let's get everyone back two weeks prior to sailing. That will be significant enough time for any new training.

"I'm going to be tied up with meetings for the next two weeks, flying between DC and the Institute. With Lee gone, a lot more work will be on your shoulders, Chip."

"There shouldn't be any problems, Admiral. It'll be good experience for Frank O'Brien to handle some of the XO's shore duties. He's very qualified, after all, he's had a very good teacher." Chip's grin got wider when Lee snorted. "I say again, he's had a great teacher. Just make sure Cookie's supplies are correct. We can't have _Seaview_ sailing without a full load of goodies."

"Heaven forbid, gentleman. Only thing worse would be a coffee shortage for her captain. I'll be leaving for DC tomorrow evening, so check on the specifications for the project and we can meet later tonight if there are any questions. That will be all."

"Yes, sir."

As the two junior officers started to leave, Nelson called out to Crane.

"Lee, I don't want to hear you've been in the office or on board _Seaview_ until Jamieson hascleared you. That's an order. I want you 100 percent when we sail again."

"Yes, sir, don't worry, I want to get back to my old self. I'm seeing him after lunch today. He's hoping to decrease my medication, but I'm sure he's already told you."

Nelson flushed. "Don't fault him for doing his job, mister. I need to know the medical condition of my officers."

"Sorry, Admiral, no disrespect intended. Just feeling frustrated and tired of everyone watching over me." Lee felt ashamed of his words, he knew Nelson, as well as Chip, were in his corner. At times he thought he was improving. The headaches were more infrequent, but he worried of not regaining control over his emotions, and never being able to command again. It was hard not to become discouraged, of letting the depression take hold of him again. Jamie was right, he needed to free himself from all the stress and pressure if he was to completely mend.

As arranged, Jamie checked in with Lee each day to monitor his progress. The Skipper was trying very hard to follow the restrictions but he was going stir crazy with the prohibition of driving. Even with a driver at his disposal he hated the loss of freedom. Finally, after five long days ofshowing steady improvement, Jamie took pity on him.

"Okay, it's all arranged. Chip's going to drive you to the cabin tomorrow. MacMillan is the caretaker, a retired firefighter. He'll make sure everything is ready; just tell him if you need anything. Rules are simple - you call me every day plus if there are any problems you call to report them. You might also figure on calling Chip daily after he leaves, you know what a mother hen he is." Jamie laughed at the look on Lee's face. "Enjoy yourself fishing, but no five-hour hikes through the woods, please."

"Come on, Jamie, I don't need a caretaker playing babysitter, I'm quite capable of calling if I run out of anything. Bad enough you hovering over me." Lee was complaining out of habit. The truth was he was happy Ski or Pat hadn't been assigned to watch over him.

The doc put a mock scowl onto his face. "And Lee, since you're off the meds you can have one or two beers but no more. It's really best to stay away from alcohol if you have any symptoms that day. If you're not careful I might just have a talk with Chief Sharkey. I hear he likes fishing."

Lee threw up his hands. "Okay, okay, daily calls are fine. Maybe that's not a bad idea anyway; I can rub it in, me fishing and all this lounging around while everyone else's slaving away. I might be nice and bring some trout home for you."

As planned, Chip drove on the way to the cabin Admiral Nelson had graciously offered for Lee's use during his vacation. Nelson had provided easy to follow directions - 101 south to the Westlake Boulevard exit, then a right onto El Potrero and left onto Lake Sherwood Drive. They talked about many things on the way down, from work and upcoming repairs on the boat to how the Midshipmen were doing in football, and consequently paid little attention to their surroundings other than to note that as usual, the freeway was packed. The smiling guard at the inconspicuous gatehouse, who checked their names off as they went through, didn't seem too out of place; lots of places in California were gated communities. It wasn't until they pulled up to the driveway and saw who they assumed was the caretaker standing in front of a pair of immense ornamental iron gates, flanked by pillars of polished granite, that they looked at each other.

"Lee, did the admiral ever tell you about this place before?"

"No, all he told me was that he had a place on Lake Sherwood, and that he'd bought the land quite a while ago. And that it was a nice, but small, out of the way place."

"Small and out of the way? I'd hate to see his definition of large and smack in the middle of things."

The caretaker stepped up to the driver's side door of the car. "You Mister Crane and Mister Morton? I'm James MacMillan, and everybody calls me Mac. The admiral said you'd be here about now. Let me open up for you."

As they drove along the winding driveway and came into view of the 'cabin' the young men tried and failed to hide their impressions of the grand surroundings. Nelson had obviously been playing a little joke on them; it was more like a mini mansion, consisting of a two story, southern styled house with a full wraparound porch and gabled windows upstairs that overlooked the Santa Susana Mountains beyond. Five steps led up to the doorway, which faced a velvet-smooth lawn and large flowerbeds. Stands of Live Oak dotted the lawn. Off to the side they could see a sliver of water and a dock, where a sailboat was bobbing.

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Lee."

"Just a modest cabin, my ass. The OOM has been holding out on us. I wonder if he ever brought anyone special here?" Lee couldn't stop laughing at Chip's expression.

Uncomfortable with Mac doing all the work, Chip helped unload the car, suggesting to Lee that he find the kitchen and make some coffee while they handled the gear. Busy with his luggage, he missed the smile on Mac's face.

A set of stairs just off the entry led Chip to the second floor. There were easily three bedrooms, and he selected the middle one, which had a view of the boat dock and the lake. He dropped his bag onto the queen-sized bed, admiring the furnishings, which included two easy chairs, a desk, a fireplace, and what had to be at least a 40-inch flat screen television. Returning downstairs he followed the scent of fresh brewed coffee. He halted at the sight in front of him. A fifty-something redheaded woman had just placed a plate of doughnuts in front of Lee.

Leaning back in his chair sipping his cup of java, Lee saw his friend stopped in the doorway of the spacious and well-equipped kitchen. "Just don't stand there with your mouth open, take a seat. If these doughnuts, freshly made by the way, are like her coffee, we're in for a treat." Turning to the attractive woman, he performed introductions. "Mrs. McMillan, that person impersonating a statue is Chip Morton, my best and generally quite intelligent friend. Just sometimes food gets in the way of his brain cells. Chip, if you haven't figured it out, this lovely lady is Mac's wife. Seems she's the housekeeper, so no KP for us this trip."

Chip found his voice and greeted the woman as he grabbed a sugar-covered treat. "Sorry, ma'am, my manners are usually much better. Guess I'm still awestruck about finding Admiral Nelson's 'little cabin' that he's letting us use."

Her smile widened as she poured him a cup of coffee. "Call me Peggy, please. Harry likes to pull that stunt. Did he tell you he bought this place before he even started building the Institute? He and Mac would sit for hours going over the plans."

Chip wiped a spot of powdered sugar off his upper lip. "No, ma'am, I mean, Peggy. He never mentioned anything until Lee needed some R&R and offered the use of this place."

"So tell me, Peggy, does the admiral come here very often with friends? Seems a shame to waste such a gorgeous spot," Lee asked casually.

The redhead wasn't deceived. "None of your business, young man. Now, are you just going to sit here all day keeping me from my work, or are you going to do some fishing?"

"We were just leaving, ma'am!"

Both ran upstairs to grab light jackets, knowing the breeze coming off the lake would be chilly due to the colder than normal fall weather. They met up with Mac at the pier just as he finished loading some gear on board the sailboat.

"I put a large thermos of coffee plus a cooler for pop and beer. Peggy sent some sandwiches and snacks, not knowing if you plan on sailing or just fishing off the side."

"Thanks Mac, just fishing today. Tomorrow we'll try sailing. Tell Peggy we'll bring home enough fish to feed all of us for dinner. I'm feeling lucky."

"Sure thing, Mr. Crane, but knowing the missus, she'll have a couple steaks ready just in case."

With a wave, they were off, Lee leading the way. He hadn't felt this good in quite a while.

The day stayed unseasonably cool but the cloudless sun still made it very enjoyable for the two men. Chip managed to put a good-sized dent in the food and wisely kept his mouth shut over Lee's lack of appetite. He'd promised Doc not to push his friend too hard this weekend, giving Lee time to just relax.

Keeping an eye on both their poles he reached into the cooler to get another beer and settled back on his chair. When he saw Lee's pole starting to slip from his hand Chip caught it, raising the line out of the water and silently leaning it against the sailboat's railing. Chip smiled as his friend's head fell forward, sound asleep. Jamie had once again proven how smart he was. Lee was away from the temptations of the Institute and _Seaview_ in a quiet setting where he could swim, sail or fish, three things he loved. After Chip left there would be two people unobtrusively keeping an eye on things. He had to laugh over something else, too; Jamie had also tricked him into taking a short vacation, knowing how much extra work the XO had been forced to take on, with Lee out of action.

A while later Chip stood at the railing, casting his line out into the water. He heard his companion push back his chair.

"So Captain Ahab, catch Moby yet?"

"Maybe tomorrow. I think one more will be plenty for dinner tonight."

Lee stood, stretched and then joined his friend at the side rail looking out over the water. "God, what a beautiful sight. I can see why the admiral built a place here. He sure managed to keep it a secret, though."

"Yeah, I often wondered where he went to 'clear his head' when he took off. Sailing on this lake would do that."

"Just what the doctor ordered, right, Chip?" There was a slight pause then he turned and looked at his friend with a sly grin on his face. "Thanks for not saying it again."

Chip didn't pretend not to understand what Lee meant. "You've been told enough times, pal. It's just got to get through your thick skull." He gave a slight shoulder-to-shoulder nudge. "Are you going to let me out-fish you, or are you going to put your line back in the water?"

"Yes, sir, casting line, sir! How'm I doin'?"

"Smartass!"

The two men stood side-by-side in a comfortable silence born from years of friendship, watching the lines bob in the still waters. Lee felt a tug on his pole and reeled in the largest fish of the day. Holding it up, he exclaimed, "You may have caught more, but by weight I win."

"I say again - smartass." Chip broke out laughing, and Lee joined in. "Do you want to keep going, or maybe do a little exploring?"

For an answer Lee set down his pole and started gathering their things, and they motored back to the dock. After their catch was proudly delivered to Peggy, who promised a mouthwatering fish dinner they followed an overgrown path until they came upon a gazebo, built out of the same granite that made up the gateposts. The autumn-colored leaves of a gingko tree waved back and forth languidly in the cool air. The round building allowed for a 360-degree view of their surroundings, and the arched openings in the walls stopped approximately three feet from the floor, allowing a visitor to comfortably sit on the thick stone and enjoy the serenity. They stayed here for a while, soaking up the tranquil ambiance, and then headed back to the house, where Mac and Peggy waited on the large outside patio, barbecue tongs in hand.

Sitting down to a dinner of grilled fish, roasted potatoes and corn on the cob, Lee knew that already he felt revitalized. The 'cabin' was a secret no longer; he hoped he could return soon.

Next day, after finishing off a fabulous Peggy-prepared breakfast, Lee and Chip took off for a day of sailing and fishing. After several hours of tacking back and forth across the lake they dropped anchor and decided to try their luck. Setting up two chairs at the stern of the boat, they settled back watching the lines bob and waiting for the first bite. At first Chip was a little concerned with Lee's silence, but he had seemed to enjoy handling the helm.

The quiet was finally broken by Lee asking, "Did Mac stow a thermos again, Chip? I can use a cup of coffee."

"Coming right up, Skipper. There's cookies if you want them."

"Just something to drink."

They sat side-by-side with the cooler pushed between them acting like a table. Lee pulled his line out of the water and put more bait on the hook. A short time later and both had bites, hauling in a couple of nice sized bass.

Lee put the fish on his stringer, threw it back overboard and said, "I promised Jamie something for his dinner, so you can take home today's catch when you leave tomorrow." Then with an evil grin he added, "Make sure to tell him how gorgeous this area is and that we are waited on hand and foot while he slaves away."

Chip slowly nodded his head up and down, saying, "I'll make sure to rub it on how we had to 'rough' it. Then again, I don't know if that's a good idea. Maybe I'll just wait till you come back and you can tell him."

Lee raised an eyebrow. "Chicken?"

"You're the one on sick leave so he won't yell at you," Chip pointed out. He was happy to joke around with Lee, who seemed to be almost fully recovered with no blowups or headaches the last couple of days, at least none he was aware of.

"You know, Lee, maybe in a couple months we can get a week or so off together and go to the Bahamas and do some diving. Be nice to have a break when neither of us is recovering from an injury. We could find some local girls to show us around and have a really good time."

"Mr. Morton, I'm glad you're my executive officer, you come up with excellent ideas. I believe some 'fun in the sun' is definitely warranted. Maybe you can search around, see if there is a short conference we could attend and do it on the Institute's dime."

Chip tapped his head with a long index finger. "That's why you're the captain, always thinking. But seriously, Lee, I do think a real vacation either together or not would do us some good. This past year has been really something else."

"Okay, I promise, New Year's in the Bahamas. Now, I think it's time for more sailing. By the way, how late are you planning on staying tomorrow?"

"Well, I can't be rude to Peggy. She said she's planning on grilling some big T-bone steaks, so sometime after supper." He put a hand over his heart. "Honestly, I think I can make the sacrifice to leave a little late."

"Oh, some sacrifice, you're always a thoughtful guest. Come on, I'll let you steer, try not to run us aground."

That night after another great meal provided by Peggy and winning $10 playing poker with Mac and Chip, Lee went to bed and slept soundly through the night without any nightmares.

The next morning they made use of a close-by golf course that Mac had informed them Nelson was a member of and had arranged to have them play as his guests. This time it was Chip who pocketed the winnings. Sitting at the '19th hole,' they enjoyed a couple of cold beers.

"Well, pal, looks like your vacation is almost over. Think you can stay out of trouble with the admiral until I return?"

"What you mean trouble? I'm his fair-haired boy," Chip joked as he patted his head. "Seriously, if you want me to stay on, I'm sure the OOM wouldn't care."

"No, Chip, I'm fine. I don't need a third babysitter. Peggy and Mac are plenty. I promise Jamie I'd call every day and I will. Don't worry, I'll give you a ring, too." He sat down the empty bottle. "Time to get back to the house. Peggy was planning an early dinner so you wouldn't get home too late."

They enjoyed the grilled steak and homemade peach pie, Peggy thoughtfully making a second one for Chip to take home. As they walked to Chip's car, Lee knew he had to reassure his departing friend.

"Don't worry, I really am fine. I finally feel like my old self, no dizziness and headaches and especially I don't want to bite anyone's head off."

"And what about the other stuff? Your feelings about Drake and everything? "

Lee paused, wanting to be honest with his friend. "I'm getting there. Being here will help me accept my role in what happened. I know it was killing you this weekend not to bring it up again. Thank you for that. I just need a little bit more time, Chip. I'll get there."

"I know you will, Lee. But just remember I'm just a phone call away if you need someone to listen. Now, I better get going. Take care and try not to give those nice folks any problems. "

"I'll behave. If I upset them, Nelson will never let me come back here again. "

After once more enjoying a good night's sleep, Lee woke to an overcast rainy and windy day. While he was deciding whether or not to stay in his warm cozy bed a little longer, there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in."

Mac entered carrying a cup of coffee. "Peggy thought you might enjoy the first cup in bed if you didn't feel like getting up. It's pretty gloomy outside and the forecast looks bad for the entire day." He handed Lee the mug with a grin on his face. "Might be safest if after breakfast you come back and hide in your room. Since I can't work outside she's got me washing down walls. She just might hand you a mop and pail. That woman can't stand to see a speck of dirt anywhere."

Lee flashed his famous grin. "Don't worry, I have scrubbed my fair share of floors, sometimes on my hands and knees."

"Ah yes, life at the Academy."

"I didn't know you attended Annapolis."

"No, I was a rookie fireman in Baltimore when I met Midshipmen Harriman Nelson. The young gentleman had overworked his elbow at a local pub and I was able to get him back to his hotel room without incident. He wouldn't let me leave without buying me one for the road and that's how we struck up a friendship."

"I wondered, the way you talked about him I figured you had known each other for a long time." Quickly finishing off his coffee he handed the mug back to Mac. "Well, can't stay in bed all day. A quick shower and I'll be down and ready for field day. With the way the weather is looking, I don't think I'll be enjoying any outside activities."

"At least, not without a proper breakfast first. Peggy's making Belgian waffles with strawberries. And if you're serious about helping out, put on some sweats or something. I need to get things out of the attic and I can use a strong back. Then as a reward I'll beat you in a game of chess. Harry told me you're as good he is, and I usually take his king."

Lee jumped up and went into the bathroom and enjoying the much longer than usual hot shower. He pulled out his jogging clothes and dressed quickly. Before leaving he neatly made his bed; satisfied at the job, he was almost tempted to bounce a coin off it.

Although outside it was dreary and gloomy, inside was just the opposite. At first Peggy had been upset with Mac enlisting Lee's help to switch some furniture from the attic, reminding her husband that the young man was on sick leave. Her husband told her not to be silly and Lee explained he was physically fit.

"I'm actually in pretty good shape, considering I've been doing a lot of sitting around. Mac, I'll be with you in a minute, let me just put these in the dishwasher."

As Lee went into the kitchen to drop off his breakfast dishes, Mac pulled Peggy over to his side and said quietly, "We need to keep him busy - his doctor doesn't want him to sit around and go into a bout of depression - that's one of the things Harry warned me about."

Nodding, Peggy said loudly just as Lee stepped back into the dining room, "You two can start in the back bedroom upstairs, washing the walls and taking up the new furniture. I'll get ready to hang the curtains."

Lee pretended that he had heard nothing. It annoyed him a bit that his present state of mind had been shared with relative strangers, but also knew in his heart that Jamie, Nelson and everybody else at NIMR wanted only to bring him back to full health, and he definitely agreed with that assessment.

Peggy was standing on the ladder ready to remove the drapes as they came in with the last piece of furniture, a beautiful Queen Anne's chair. The two men promptly picked her off the second step, and Lee ran up the rungs and in no time put up a new set of curtains. The whole room now had a definite feminine look and Lee wondered if a new guest would soon be occupying the room.

Peggy insisted they rest even though Lee swore he was fine. Mac told him it was best to surrender so as not to get her 'Irish up', and they both ducked as Peggy threw a pillow at her laughing husband. Mac pulled out the chessboard, and the game was on.

Their two-hour battle over the chessboard was still going strong when lunch was announced. They ate in the living room listening to some Dixieland jazz from Max's CD. Lee sat back in his chair and put his feet up on the hassock, totally relaxed. He was surprised when he opened his eyes sometime later and saw that he was alone. He started to get up, and then noticed a note on the coffee table.

 _We didn't want to wake you from your nap, you looked so restful. We've gone into town to pick up a few things and should be back in about an hour. Peggy_

Startled, he glanced at his watch and realized he had been asleep for almost two hours. Getting up, he stretched and walked to the kitchen where he was grateful to see a nearly full pot of coffee. He poured a mug, drank that down and poured a refill, then walked to the front door.

Stepping onto the front porch, Lee strolled to the railing and looked out, taking several deep breaths of the sweet smelling, rain-washed air. The wind had died down considerably but there were several tree branches on the ground and other debris that would need to be cleaned up. Tomorrow he and Mac could take care of it. He was gratified there were things for him to actually do and not just lie around.

He took a couple laps around the wraparound porch, giving him a good view of the entire property. Off to the side, hidden behind a large circular hedge, he spied Mac and Peggy's guesthouse. Even with not ever being inside of it, he knew it would be equipped with the latest appliances and comfortable and well-constructed furniture. The admiral would have insisted on this, for even though they were employees, it was obvious they were longtime friends.

Continuing on his stroll, he was able to see the path Chip and he had taken which led to the gazebo. Tomorrow, if the weather permitted, he planned to visit it again. There was something about that place that made it so peaceful. Having made his way completely around the house for the second time, Lee sat down on one of the outdoor chairs on the back patio to wait for the older couple.

The silence was broken when he heard far off to his left several voices yelling. He saw four teenagers running from the next-door neighbor's house on to the property's private dock. The two boys jumped into a small motorboat leaving the girls to make their way down much more slowly. As they neared the boat both girls started yelling, and Lee could see they were drenched, courtesy of a surprise bucket attack from the boys.

They continued hopping and screaming, and in the next instant Lee was back at the ambush with Drake. The coffee mug slipped from his hand and broke on the patio deck, spewing its contents all over the deck. All he could hear or see was the screams of the two young girls caught in the crossfire and then their bodies laid on the ground with their blood seeping into the dirt. The scene played over and over in his mind as if on a film loop.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The MacMillans were getting out of the car when they saw Lee drop the cup and ran up the steps to him. Lee stood motionless staring out to nothingness until he was shaken to awareness and hearing a concerned female voice calling his name.

"Lee, Lee, dear, what's wrong? Can you hear me? Mac, help me get him inside, then call Dr. Jamison."

Becoming aware of his surroundings, Lee shook off the helping hands.

"It's okay, I'm okay." He shook his head as if to clear the memory from it. "Sorry if I scared you."

Peggy wasn't having any of it and she firmly took his arm and let him back into the house, almost pushing him down onto the couch. Without a word she went to the bar and poured a small amount of brandy into a glass.

"Here, drink this while I make a fresh pot of coffee. Mac, why don't you get a fire going, it's kind of chilly in here. It will make the room more cheerful."

She was soon back with the coffee and a plate full of brownies. She poured out three cups and handed one to both men. Going back over to the bar she returned with the bottle of brandy and put a bit in her cup.

"All this cold rain is getting to me; I can use a little something to warm me up." She offered the liquor to the others and they both happily accepted. "You've just been working yourself a little hard the last few days, dear." She picked up his feet and before Lee could protest set them on top of the hassock. "It's left over Irish Stew for us tonight so there's no rush, we can sit back and relax for a little while."

Lee understood what she was doing and was grateful for them not asking what happened. He finished off his coffee and then refilled the cup and took a brownie. Chewing it slowly he stared off into the crackling flames. As he sorted out his feelings, he was surprised to realize that although he was concerned about having the flashback, the actual events portrayed were not nearly as upsetting as he had experienced before.

"I appreciate you not prying into what happened out there on the porch," he said quietly, explaining about the teenagers and the horseplay, and how the screaming had affected him.

"I was fine until I heard those two teenage girls screaming and… well… I was back in a very bad place."

Mac nodded over his cup, staring down into the dark liquid. "I've had moments like that myself, Lee. A sweatshop factory burnt to the ground. We lost two of our men and fifteen young illegal girls burnt to death. I had nightmares quite a while after that."

Neither man offered any further information. Peggy sat there for a few moments and then left the room. He could hear her sweeping and figured she was picking up the remnants of the broken coffee mug. Turning towards the kitchen, he saw her putting away the groceries and then place something into the oven.

Mac was the first to stir himself. Putting down his coffee mug, he leaned forward and made a move on the chessboard.

"Check mate in three."

Lee finished his brownie as he studied the board, considering his next move. He'd get out of this yet.

That night as promised he called Jamie and gave him an update. At first he was reluctant to recount the incident but knew if he didn't, Mac would. When he first arrived he wasn't sure how much they had been told about the reason he was there, but it was obvious from what he'd overhead that they had been warned about what symptoms he might exhibit.

"Did you get the fish okay, Jamie?"

"Yes, I did. Harry was over and we grilled them on my patio. In fact he just left. How are things going at Hotel Nelson? Have you decided to shave yet?"

"They put me to work today scrubbing down walls and moving furniture. Guess they were afraid I wasn't going to pay my bill." Lee rubbed a hand across his rapidly growing facial hair. "And no, I told you as long as I'm on vacation, so is my razor. I think I look quite sexy with a beard," Lee joked, then went on in a more serious tone. "It's been raining all day so it kept me out of trouble. And it worked pretty well until…"

"What happened, Lee?"

Reluctantly he related the flashback incident but hurried on with his assessment of his reaction to it. He did not want Jamie making a house call, or even worse having to come back to the Med Center.

"Any dizziness, headache or any other physical reactions to it?"

"No no, I just froze. It took less than a minute with Peggy and Mac calling me to snap me out of it but I was fine after that. Did you instruct them how to handle me if something like that happened?"

"No. I don't want you be upset with us but, both Harry and I agreed they had to be aware of what to be on the lookout for, without going into all the details. I hope they weren't too intrusive about anything. I can talk to them you want."

"You don't have to, Jamie. To be honest I don't think I could be in better hands. It's probably one of the reasons I'm telling you about it." He swallowed, and carefully said, "So, are you coming out here?

"Not unless you want a fishing buddy. You may experience a couple more flashbacks in the coming month or so, but that's to be expected. This was your first one; it's usually the most severe. I also don't want you to worry if you have a nightmare tonight about your experience, that's quite common. Don't forget I gave you a couple sleeping pills if you feel you need them. Just be careful not to take them if you had more than a couple drinks."

Lee could hear Jamie's chair creak as he shifted his weight and spoke again.

"I want you to think about what you told me. You are more upset about relieving the tragic events. That shows that you're coming to terms with all of it. I want you to call me in the morning, just to let me know how you're doing and then later in the evening again. I'm not overly concerned, you know I'm a worry wart about my favorite patient."

Lee's grin was huge this time. "Good night, doctor. I still have to call my other mother hen. I'll even be good and call the admiral sometime tomorrow so everyone will be happy."

Jamie was right. In the middle of the night Lee woke up in a cold sweat from his nightmare. Going into the bathroom he splashed water on his face and neck and then filled a cup and drank it. Drying himself off, he returned to the bedroom and grabbed his robe, knowing it'd be a while before he would fall back to sleep. Coffee was out of the question but maybe Peggy had the fixings for a hot cup of cocoa. That and an hour or so of reading would do the trick.

As he reached the ground floor he noticed there was a light on in the living room. Curious, he forgot about his drink and turned the other way. Sitting curled up in the leather chair was Peggy, with half a glass of wine on the table and a book that had fallen onto the floor. Debating whether he should wake her or not, she made the decision for him as she jumped up, startled someone was in the room.

"I think I should report you to babysitters international for falling asleep on the job," Lee joked as he reached down to pick up the book. "You didn't have to stay up, nightmares and I are old friends."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Lee. I was just enjoying a glass of wine and a book. I must have fallen asleep. But since you're up, is there anything I can do for you?"

"I was going to raid the kitchen to make a cup of cocoa."

"You sit down, I'll get it, I don't like people messing around in my kitchen. I could just imagine what the stove would look like after you let the milk boil over. You want a sandwich or maybe a slice of pie?"

"No, just the hot cocoa. You don't mind if I watch you? Somehow mine never comes out as good as when Chip makes it."

"You two are pretty close, aren't you? You've been friends for a long time?"

"We've roomed together since first day at the Academy. He took me under his wing, and has been playing mother hen ever since then."

Her motherly smile was telling. "I could tell he was worried about you. You did call tonight, didn't you?"

"I called Dr. Jamieson first, to let him know I was alright, and then got hold of Chip. He wanted to make sure I thank you again for all the cooking. I think he was hoping you'd sent home another pie with me. And you're right, he does worry about me. I'm just afraid one of these days he'll get fed up with all my shenanigans and tell me to… um... well you know what I mean."

Peggy placed two mugs on the table and then reached up above the refrigerator and pulled down a small canister marked 'Flour.' "You want two or three?"

Lee looked at her in confusion until he saw the marshmallows in her hand. "Three please. You got trouble with pests?"

"Only the two legged kind. Mac would eat the whole bag if I didn't hide 'em. I have to do the same at our place. Most of the time Harry's guests are pretty informal, like you and Chip, so we end up some nights playing poker or chess. Neither of us are big drinkers so it's cocoa for us." She dropped the marshmallows in his cup. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow? The rain's stopped and the weather forecast calls for sunshine. The fish should be really biting after a day of rain."

"I thought I'd help your husband clean up the yard, and then just take a nice long walk."

"I was going to say you're a guest and shouldn't work, but I'd be wasting my breath. I admit I worry sometimes when Mac has to get out that chainsaw. As for walking, since it's all private property around here, the only 'trail' is out the front of the house and down the street, but since there's not much traffic it's good enough for exercise. Now, would you like another cup before I toddle off to bed?

"I'm fine, Peggy. I think I'll sleep fine now." He got up and washed out his cup. As he placed it in the dish strainer he turned to her with his little boy expression. "Do you think maybe we can have French toast for breakfast?"

"I think that can be arranged. Now get, you need your sleep. Get up when you feel like it, I'll have everything ready and it only takes a few minutes to cook. You like that with cinnamon and banana?"

Lee was already heading for the stairs. "Yes ma'am! I'll see you in the morning!"

After devouring his special breakfast and helping Mac chop up the branches for firewood he took off to explore the neighborhood. Peggy was right, although it was a paved road only two cars passed him as he headed down the street, past the gates of other properties. A few minutes' walk brought him to a large open piece of land filled with boulders, which tapered off to a good-sized chunk of lakefront. Signs indicated the space was for local property owners, so he sized up the nearest boulder and determined to make a run for the top. There were plenty of footholds so he knew it would be an easy climb.

Once on top, Lee sat down and looked around. The lake was quiet, the breeze barely riffling the surface. A pair of ducks gamboled by, their wake forming in the familiar v-shape. He throw his head back, enjoying the sunlight reflecting off his face, and played over last night's phone conversations with both Jamie and Chip. Chip had readily agreed with the doctor's assessment. He even acknowledged he was happy it took place now and not at some critical point on _Seaview._ Lee knew he was right. A flashback during a command situation could cost lives; something for which he would not ever be able to forgive himself. And the nightmare last night was from the gun battle where those innocent girls were mowed down, and not his battle with Drake. He needed to finally come to terms with what had happened in those final moments with his former friend. His intellect and emotions were still warring with other each other on that score. Now that he was physically fit, maybe he could make peace within himself.

A slight rustle from a nearby bush disturbed his thoughts. As he watched, two large rabbits emerged, stopped, looked at him and thump their paws before retreating to the bush. _Excuse me for trespassing, I'm leaving._

He got up and carefully began his descent. He had done enough hiking and thinking for the moment. Tonight after dinner, he would go and explore that gazebo again.

As Lee made his way into the house, it was strangely quiet. He soon had an explanation, for there on the kitchen table was a note.

 _Lee, there is chicken dumpling soup on the stove to be warmed plus a fruit and cheese platter in the fridge. This is my afternoon to volunteer at the hospital so dinner will be later than usual. I'm bringing home barbecue ribs. If you need him Mac is down at the boat. Peggy_

He turned up the heat of the pot and then washed his hands in the kitchen sink before setting the table. A short time later he was amazed how much he had eaten. Exercise and fresh air had greatly increased his appetite. After washing up the dishes he realized he was in need of some washing himself, and soon found himself in a shower.

After drying off and putting on clean underwear he grabbed his robe off the hook, putting it on as he walked over to the bed. Glancing at the clock, which read 2 PM, he realized he had not yet placed a promised call to Admiral Nelson. He made himself comfortable sitting against the headboard, waiting for someone to pick up the phone.

"Admiral Nelson's office."

"Angie, it's Lee. How's my girlfriend?"

"In your dreams, sailor. Chip'stoldme how you've fallen for a pretty redhead. You men are so fickle."

"Peggy might have my stomach, but you always are first in my heart, Angie," Lee teased. "Is the admiral around?"

"Sorry Lee, he just got on a conference call with Senator Carter and some other bigwigs. I'm afraid he's going to be a while. Do you want me to have him return your call?"

"No, I'll try calling back this evening. But you can tell him I'm doing great and can't wait to get back to work. And that his friends are treating me like a king."

"I'll pass that on, Lee. I'm glad the vacation is doing its job, just be careful with that redhead. We both know, shall we say, how high strung they can be." They shared the laugh as Lee hung up the phone.

After he replaced the headset, a huge yawn escaped. _I guess the outdoors exercise did more than just increased my appetite. Nap now and then a visit to the gazebo before dinner._

The thoughts were barely out of his mind when he felt his eyelids closing as he settled down to a more comfortable position. Within minutes, he was sound asleep.

Completely refreshed and now dressed in blue jeans and the maroon long sleeved shirt Mrs. Morton had gave him for Christmas, Lee walked down the seldom used path to the granite fixture. He would have to remember to ask Harry why such an unusual thing was built. He figured if he got the truth, it would be very interesting story.

Once he reached his destination he was again struck by the beauty of the shelter with the multi-tinted gingko leaves adding a burst of color to the gray white stone. He was now thankful for his decision to revisit this place in the daylight, to enjoy the beautiful scenery the arched openings allowed. He availed himself of the thick wall that easily served as a bench. Looking out over the sun kissed water with the green forest backdrop he knew he had come to the right place.

The gods must have been smiling down on him. There was nothing to disturb his solitude except for the occasional bird briefly stopping by. The sunlight reflecting off the lake created a hypnotic effect on the water, and Lee found himself reliving that eventful day. Everything seemed to unfold in slow motion, from the first bullet fired, then the dark-haired girl's surprised look as a slug tore through her, the bloodied knife in his hands and finally the loud thumping noise as a chopper flew the survivors to safety.

Lee forced himself not to pull out of the trance like state. He willed himself to view the scene as an outside observer. How had he missed something as obvious as Drake's treachery? Had there been signs? Who had known there would be civilians in the area? Drake, perhaps, who obviously hadn't cared. And who had acted the same as always, the quiet, efficient American agent - now with a secret. Were the military policemen experienced or untested rookies? He thought about that, too, and concluded it wouldn't have mattered - everything had happened so fast. He checked off one question after another as he truthfully answered them. Unless he counted himself an omniscient god, and that was one thing, even at his most egotistical, never believed, there wasn't a damn thing he could have done to change the outcome.

Lee felt a great burden lift off his chest. There would always be some regret and sorrow over the loss of lives, but Peter Drake would answer for all of it. And what about his feeling towards his friend? Could he fondly remember all the good times they had, or would he simply be a traitor to his country always? For now, the bad over weighed the good memories, but Lee thought that might fade in time.

He took a final look out over the water and was surprised to see the sun was close to setting. He was reluctant to leave this place, afraid to break the spell of solitude and serenity. He reached up and broke off one of the smaller red colored leaves and placed it inside his wallet as a link and then started his way back.

The next day Lee insisted that the McMillans join him on the sailboat where they spent several hours just enjoying doing nothing. That evening he treated them both to dinner at a cozy Italian restaurant to thank them for their many kindnesses. When they returned home no one wanted the day to end. A game of poker was quickly started and a couple hours later both Mac and Lee were several dollars poorer.

"You two may be able to sleep in, but I've got to get up and make a special goodbye breakfast. Don't go stomping around when you come to bed, Mac. Thanks again for dinner, Lee. I'm going to be very sorry to see you go tomorrow."

"I hate to leave too, but I'm just afraid what kind of trouble the admiral and Chip will get into without my steadying influence." It was easy to joke around with Peggy, but he also wanted her to know how he truly felt. "Without getting all mushy, I want to thank you for all that you did for me and I'm not talking about the food. You were there when I needed some support but he didn't pry or push and for that I will always be grateful. Harry's got a couple of valuable friends who I hope I can also call mine."

Speechless, Peggy just reached up on her tiptoes, kissed Lee's cheek, and then impishly pinched his butt. Just a little playfulness between friends.

The next morning, as Lee stood drying himself off after a shower he took a good look at himself in the mirror. Not only was his too long hair a wavy mess and in desperate need of a military trim, it was time for the beard to go also. He remembered seeing a barbershop on the way to dinner last night. Correction - a men's hair salon. It would probably cost a lot more than he was used to but it would be worth it. After breakfast, he would ask to borrow the car and take care of it.

Peggy outdid herself that morning. Sitting down, he contemplated a cup of fresh fruit, banana nut pancakes, a three egg omelette and home fries, all accompanied by her delicious coffee. Pouring himself a cup, he broached the idea of getting a haircut. His plan of driving himself was quickly, and for Peggy's part quite vocally, shot down.

"Not while you're still under my care, Lee Crane. We were given specific orders you were not to drive until cleared by the doctor. Just give me five minutes to finish clearing up and I'll take you. I need to pick up a few things at the pharmacy so I'll drop you off. When you are finished you can meet me across the street at the coffee shop."

After spending these last days with her, Lee knew better than to argue. A half-hour later, he was sitting in a chair carefully explaining to the stylist the meaning of a military haircut.

"But, but..." the stylist argued. "Okay, I can see getting rid of the beard, but your hair ... you look so good, and to chop it off down to almost nothing ..."

Lee laughed at her protests. "You don't know my boss. It's got to go."

With a sigh of resignation, she picked up her scissors.

When the cape was removed and his chair spun around Lee had to admit he enjoyed being pampered just a little. As he looked into the mirror, the face of the old Lee Crane smiled back at him, with amber eyes bright and eager to face the next challenge without hesitation.

He gave thanks for the help he had received from Peggy and Mac this past week. If it wasn't for their quiet support along with Jamie's common sense advice he knew things could have turned out very differently. And Chip, rock solid Chip who took the brunt of the abuse during his many rants and raves. Chip never wavered in his friendship and encouragement. He would not disappoint them.

Leaving the salon, Lee crossed the street and spied Peggy sitting with her back to the window of the coffee shop. As the door shut behind him, Lee saw she was deeply engrossed in a magazine. With a devilish grin on his face, he quickly walked to the table, spun a chair around and sat down. In his best Cary Grant impersonation he spoke.

"Hello beautiful, where have you been all my life?"

Peggy slapped down the magazine and turned to tell the jerk to go away. "Mister, you need to work… Oh, dear!" Peggy laughed. "My goodness, don't you look very handsome, Lee Crane. I will miss those dark curls though, reminded me of Lord Byron."

Women did say the craziest things about his hair... "Well, it wouldn't do for the captain of _Seaview_ , I'm afraid," Lee said, laughing. " Unfortunately, we'd better head back. Chip should be arriving very soon." Always a gentleman, Lee pulled back her chair and then opened the shop door as they left. He couldn't help but be a little envious of Mac as Peggy walked in front of him towards the car.

Because of a snafu with some replacement parts, Chip was unable to retrieve Lee from the cabin, sending Patterson in his place. Still under orders not to set foot on the boat or visit his office, Lee was forced to wait for his friend to show up at his place. Chip arrived with a large pizza and a six-pack of beer for dinner and the latest news.

"Your desk is clear, Lee. There's no reason to overtax yourself your first day back."

"Just how many extra hours did you spend accomplishing that task?"

"Well, Angie helped."

"And did most of the work, I'll bet." Lee couldn't help but joke, happy with the thought of being back in the saddle.

"Hey, whatever it takes. I just know I don't want to play captain for our next project. That's your gig, I'm the stern but compassionate first officer."

"Mr. Morton, I believe you've been watching too many old war movies. Anyway, thanks, buddy, you made these past weeks bearable. We did manage to pull it off without Jamie knowing you kept me up to speed with your daily reports." Lee quit speaking when he looked at Chip's face. "Wait a minute, why are you grinning like a maniac? Give!"

"Sorry, Captain, for a spy you're slow at spotting a scam. Who do you think gave me the go-ahead to update you? Jamie figured you'd try and sneak into the office when you were still in town or come back early from your vacation. We all know what a control freak you are. This way, you got your rest and peace of mind at the same time."

"That old fraud! Telling me to keep my nose out of the Institute affairs, all the while he was plotting with you! So much for that 'brother' stuff. I'm never trusting you again."

The two men laughed over how the wily doctor had gotten his way without engaging his sometime mule-headed patient in a battle of wills. Chip left early, happy to turn the reins over to Lee. After a brief but refreshing stroll on the beach, Lee hit the sack. Tomorrow was the big day, his final checkup with the doctor.

"Well, Captain, in the last 72 hours you have reported no headaches, dizziness or any other complaints, even the depression is gone. So, Skipper, to your unasked question, all restrictions have been lifted, you're fit for the next mission. But Lee, please, no more knocks on the head. I still would feel more comfortable if you didn't take the flying sub out on any joyrides for another week. Just humor this old man."

"Anything you say, Doc. Um, about the flying sub, you mean just piloting it? No problems being a passenger? The admiral has been working on-"

"You're impossible, Skipper. Yes, you can go on the test ride - as an observer only! Now get out of here, I have sick people to see."

Lee hurried from the doctor's office almost afraid Jamie would change his mind. As he made his way to the hangar to check on the upgrades for the flying sub he once more contemplated all that had occurred in the last month. He had come to terms with his actions concerning Drake, no longer feeling guilty or even angry. But what about the next time? Could he pull the trigger? Or would he hesitate for just a second too long and cost an innocent being their life?

Would there be a next time?

Reaching the hangar, he pushed back the door and couldn't help smiling. There sat his baby, all spick and span and ready for her flight. As he walked around the outside, checking every inch, he heard one of the mechanics answer the ringing phone.

"Yes, sir. Commander Crane has just arrived. One moment, please." The young man motioned Lee forward, holding out the receiver. "Sir, it's for you."

"Lee Crane here."

10


End file.
